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Ami Shroyer: Coping with Grief and Loss

We all know that human beings are mortal beings, and some come and go. According to Elisabeth K?bler-Ross, there are five stages of death and dying for those in grief which include denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. A person grieving may report more stages, while others may not experience all stages mentioned here, it is because grief is subjective and nature, and it is a unique experience. Denial refers to the state of shock, wherein a person who is grieving experience a world of overwhelming and meaningless atmosphere. This is the stage when a person feels numb, and not seeing how he can move on with life. The denial stage serves as your protection form your inner violent thoughts and emotions, but as you become stronger and ready to face them, denial will start to fade.

The second stage of the healing process when grieving is anger. You can display your anger by crying or shouting on the top of your lungs to release the pain and tension that were built when you were in the denial stage, but be careful being violent because you may harm yourself and other people. Some people blame other people for the loss of their loved ones such as doctors, family, friends, relatives, and even God. With the pain caused by a loved one’s loss, we may feel deserted and abandoned. Anger can be your anchor to a stronger structure, making a connection from the emptiness of the denial stage to becoming more aware of what is happening around you, so you may show anger to the doctor who last attended your loved one in the hospital or to a relative who did not attend the funeral. The anger stage shows how intensity your love is to your loved one. The third stage is the bargaining stage, and before the loss, a person seems like to do anything to spare their loved one’s life. A person grieving feels guilt and this stage may last for weeks or months. It is normal to feel guilty, remembering the past and thinking you should have shown more love and care to your loved one.

After the anger and bargaining, you enter the depressive stage, wherein reality is in front of your face and you cannot do anything but be sad and cry for your loss. Some people don’t get away with this stage and may lead to total depression, needing medical help. A depressed person may entirely withdraw from his social activities, and when realization starts, and so as acceptance, and slowly become engaged in this society again.

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